The heart speaks

It's not a war, it's your family. It's not about winning it's love. I love my Son. If only I can say this to you and would listen like a normal person. 

The hangover

I woke up this morning looking at my phone and saw a very important unread email. So I figured I need to get up and get myself composed and read it religiously. Oh yes, I switched on my laptop on my bed with a sudden rush of headache (yelling out for caffeine and a gentle reminder to myself a I do not have a helper) and I read what my lawyer wrote, It is a Sunday, she does not have to this.I pictured her out like an angel this morning, god sent. Of course I do pay for her services but she was reaching out beyond and the email was so comforting that I felt, whatever happens, we all did try. For a moment I still believe that there are kind people reaching out to you. I have my faith in place.

So I shall get out of bed have my cup of black coffee (no sugar, although I do compromise to latte when I have to share my coffee with my friends & this reads the world do not revolves around you, try fit in plus one cup of latte won't kill you)

So the hangover feeling of this "access" moments is mind draining, especially when adults starts behaving like children. For now I can only hope & pray. The holiday is calling out for Rain & me and it will only happen if differences are set aside. 

It is a not about you & me. There are other people living in this planet called Earth and it is not any human being, he is your Son. 

Engine starts...

Things I want to confess

1. I am fighting battle over the care & control of my son.

2. I figured the one I thought was my soulmate was a huge mistake. (hey the part that reads I have loved you)

4. I am not perfect.

5. I was left on a waiting battle, I felt controlled.

6. My recovery was okay.

Thank god during my struggle god send me angels. For those who found their soulmate cherish them.Thats all for now.. Xoxo Alice

Hey I am Alice.

Oh well its been awhile that I found this dusty domain of mine. Ever since the existence of Facebook, Instagram and other social media, I am guilty for posting selfies instead of doing what I love to do. I love to whine and keep an online diary. I came to realise people only want to tell the world they are living such a happy life. Sadly I was one of them. So I decided to come back in a different perspective. I want to keep this diary back so that my son Rain will one day read through his mummy's journal.

I did not stop writing (ignore grammars and spelling errors) I just want to pen down what I honestly feel. No, I am not into politics or neither am I a celebrity. I will share not just happiness but pain too. Who cares if no one reads. Blogging has been therapeutic for me. Always have been. I have been through the hardest time of my last 4 years, however I came back stronger today. I definitely share more. 

So Let's start again "hey hi I am Alice I am still the delusional person who is the imaginary astronaut" oh gosh writing is great. (imaginary readers are you still there) 

Dear blog I am back.